Emotional Mama

What an emotional week! For starters, I’m coming up on being 35 weeks pregnant so that alone clearly doesn’t help lol. Add to it that my water broke during 36 weeks with my first and 35 with my second so the idea of it happening again is constantly on my mind! This week I had kindergarten orientation with my oldest which obviously brought me to tears in my current state! And this past Saturday Chris turned 3! A little background on him; he was born early at 35 weeks 6 days but came out even smaller than anticipated for that gestation, 3lbs 8oz! It didn’t take long before noticing that gaining weight was not something he was a fan of and we quickly got his first diagnosis of “failure to thrive”, which is just as scary as it sounds. Although we were told it’s something most kids quickly grow out of, we are now three years into it and he has not lost that title. We struggle to get him to eat even with added therapy so these days his diet is basically only PediaSure and by no means does he look like he’s three years old. We also noticed pretty early signs of developmental delay and are still working on getting him diagnosed with possibly autism or something of that nature. We have spent the last three years seeing all kinds of specialist and he’s been in a few different therapies for the past year so, I guess him turning another year older was more emotional than I expected because he’s just not where I thought he would be at three. Then first thing Monday morning I got an email that he has been accepted to a charter school specifically for kids with special needs and that he was just put on the wait list. There has been A LOT that has gone into the decision to start him in school and I’m still uneasy about it even though I know it’s what is best for him, but just seeing that he got accepted two days after his birthday once again brought this mama to tears. I know I’m just in the beginning of emotions when it comes to motherhood which is such a scary thought but I suppose that’s why as moms we really need to come together. Every blog I write feels almost to raw to share and I worry about being judged for something I may be “doing wrong” but I am loving the support and being able to vent some emotions because keeping them in definitely feels worse! So, for everyone reading and sharing this on to their mom friends, thank you for being a part of this!
-mamaxiety